War criminals in Salisbury!

I've been in my apartment in Salisbury for nine and a half months now. Some months back I was in the laundry smoking a joint of synthetic marijuana when I felt a strange feeling in my brain that I recognized from a bar I went to in Germany in 1996. It is a sort of weak feeling on one side of the head and to me felt typically German because I felt the same way in Germany years before. I said very quietly 'There's an old German here I know. An old German, actually practicing Nazism. Nearby an old woman talked in a fearful way and admitted that his real name was Heimlich Himmler. Now I had seen a documentary about the 'Final Solution' during the Nazi Regime and I had seen the film of the meeting where Heimlich Himmler lied and said a famine was coming where 6 million people would die and that it would be better if six million people were executed so they wouldn't starve and go crazy and that there just happened to be six million Jewish people in Nazi areas and why shouldn't they execute them? Instead of being shot for the very idea, I mean if they believed the famine story they could have arranged to import food, instead of shooting this criminal Heimlich Himmler, the others at the meeting supported the idea of mass-murdering the Jewish people and the Holocaust began. This old German I detected's wife claiming that his real name was Heimlich Himmler really put my hackles up especially as I had felt that strange German 'brown feeling' and blamed him. I heard his voice nearby and he sounded like he was being terrorised or held at knifepoint or something. I asked him some questions in an irate way finishing with the question 'Are you human?' He answered in a crying way 'Of course I am.'   I never heard his voice again but I learned that there were four of these old Germans around, Germans who had fled Germany and landed illegally in Australia to escape justice. Two of them came first to prepare an airfield. In 1943 the other two arrived having fled the Russian advance on Berlin. One of these two was Heimlich Himmler. Six weeks after my learning of Heimlich's existence I heard he had been found at the bottom of the local well. I had found out that people's murdered bodies were regularly tossed down the well and I made such a fuss that a wellman was employed to go check the well. I told the police that all I wanted for the well information was to know how many people were thrown down there. They told me as each haul came to surface as the well is nearby, I have heard the lid clank back down late at night. The total was 34 murder victims, some recent, some just skeletons. One living person was found down there, Heimlich Himmler! He had spent six weeks at the bottom of the well and had survived by eating the dead. He escaped charges of cannibalism by claiming 'I thought it was chicken' but was put in the psychiatric ward of the local hospital. Before he was discovered down there I had assumed he must be dead as I had heard no further about him. I overheard a claim that I had been given a second V.C. because of his death, you see Nazis are not allowed to die of old age, they are sentenced to death. I prayed to France for a Croix de Guerre but was told no because he did not get a trial. When I found out he was in hospital I wanted to talk to France and luckily one time shortly after while I was coming home from the shop a woman of African descent was waking toward me when she said 'French' from some meters away. I was impressed because I love French women and once I had walked past her I said 'He's in hospital, in the psych ward' 'Heimlich?' she asked from behind. I said 'yep' and she asked which one so I told her Lyell McEwin Hospital. A few days later I heard that Heimlich Himmler had been taken to France for specialist treatment, then I heard he was on trial in France charged with six million counts of murder. I heard he came out of sedation in a French courtroom, looked around and said 'Kieran' and promptly died of heart failure. So he got to France for his trial. And now people say I have a Croix de Guerre. They say I have two Victoria Crosses, a Croix de Guerre, an English Knighthood and five PhDs. I have no proof of having any of these things. They say they found out by getting a background check on me and checking Global Lists. I can do this myself for $55 but I doubt it will say that I have these things so I'd rather not check then I don't know for sure either way. So Heimlich came to Australia in 1943 and he came with a strange companion who claimed to be Adolph Hitler. This creep that claimed to be Adolph Hitler came to bother me one by standing outside my window. I could tell he was dangerous and might shoot me through the window so I decided to humour him, I called him a cunt and told him to confess to the pope and begin helping to denazify the planet so he went off claiming he would fly to Rome in his personal Harrier Jumpjet and came back later telling me he had hurt the pope but someone else said it was the Pope's brother and claiming to have bombed Europe with radiation weapons. To be honest I got sick of humouring him, at one point I asked him if he had half a brain because he seemed like part of his brain was missing, he took this as a compliment leading me to deduce that he was in fact a headless body with a fake head that had been kept alive by Heimlich Himmler for seven decades. One of my neighbours, Joddah, a Lebanese Gentleman who grew up as a Hezbollah soldier, he climbed the fence and attacked this 'Hitler'. First Joddah went to chop off his head but the blade struck metal. Then Joddah pulled of his head, it was fake anyway. Later Joddah told me that he had cut his heart into small pieces and thrown him down the well. Joddah is no longer with us but he may have finally killed Adolph Hitler who was in hiding in Australia for seven decades without a head. It would have been better if he had had a trial. I have spoken to one of the other Germans, one who just came to build an airstrip in 1942. I helped him develop a passion for computers and he loves computing now. He and I have become friends but we have never met, he gets somebody to come nearby holding a phone that he is on. Salisbury is very quiet and the custom is if somebody wants to talk to you they don't ring you or knock on the door, they come within earshot of your dwelling and converse from outside where you can't see them. I have had many conversations with people on the phones of people who are nearby but out of sight. Salisbury. It's so quaint.