Now I rent a room in Bentley. I've been here a month. Before I moved here I spent 127 days held captive by terrorists in an abandoned maximum security prison in Mt Claremont. The terrorists wanted my bank accounts. Amongst the locals the terrorists pass themselves off as psychiatric workers. On a number of mornings I would awaken to the knowledge that the terrorist hospital had stolen $1,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 from me again. I would determine their method, reclaim my money, and prevent that style of financial crime from occurring again. Some of their methods used simple faults with the bank computer's programming such as the computer believing anything if a terrorist said "preacher said" or transferring anyone's money anywhere if a terrorist said "doctor said". It's a good thing I own Bank of America or it wouldn't have been updated and terrorists would still have unlimited funds. Whilst captive in the abandoned maximum security prison some of the female staff took a shine to me and I got some of them pregnant. When they wanted to sleep with me they would ask me and I would say yes then they would call their boss and ask and their boss would say no unless you rape him. Later I would go to sleep and the woman would sneak into my room and inject me so I would stay unconscious then ride me for an hour. If they conceived this way they would let me know and I would suggest they ring paternity-line who would send an aircraft armed with a laser so thin it's non-invasive, the laser would test the paternity of the woman's fertilized egg and since I was the Dad ten billion dollars was instantly transferred to their personal bank account. The ten billion is intended to be spent on giving the child a respectable upbringing. I also got my secretary and her Mum, my Mayor of Vincent Secretary from North Perth that is, I got them pregnant while I was held captive. I also got another woman pregnant (nuff said) and I deflowered a virgin and tasted her plucked off hymen. All secret from the terrorists.
Before the terrorists captured me I lived in North Perth. It began in Fremantle. I got evicted! With one days notice! I left my stuff behind and hung around Perth and Kings Park. During these two days I worked closely with France exhuming French People from mass graves in kings park so they could be returned home. Around a million victims found in mass graves in Kings Park here in Perth, Western Australia, have been returned to their homeland of france. I sure got plenty of medals for my role. After two days hanging around I was despairing when somebody gave me a note with an address, phone number and the words $200 a week rent. The next day I called and started renting in North Perth. I was already mayor of Fremantle and Perth and the good folk of North Perth made me mayor of Vincent in about two weeks. I discovered a mass grave under my room, 250,000 more French, crushed by an electric steam-roller in the early 1800's. I was an expert at mass graves by then and simply teleported them to superverse city where they are getting on with their lives. Superverse city was founded in June 2014 and is now the most modern and dynamic city on Earth. Instead of driving cars they fly on flying carpets and their favorite sport is riding four metre waves on surfboards indoors. It is an indigenously produced West Australian city that I bought the equipment for. I'm so proud.
So I got evicted from Fremantle, moved to North Perth, got captured by terrorists, and moved to Bentley. I've been here a month and got about eight Bentley girls pregnant but I got attacked by an Australian poofta in my sleep and destroyed the population in the other states of Australia. Today Australia got a new constitution, the Commonwealth of Napoleon Bonaparte's Isle of Wadjuk ratified it's constitution today. The legal constitution of australia is called the Constitution of Napoleon Bonaparte's Isle of Wadjuk. It is similar to the voided Commonwealth of Australia constitution but for a name change and deletion of references to Terra Nullius or false claims of an empty land devoid of human life.
I must mention my marriage. I am married to Trudy Windsor-Harman, the successor to Queen Elizabeth 2nd. We courted for around a year and were married on September 12th 2014. Trudy is so exciting! And so loyal.
Before the terrorists captured me I lived in North Perth. It began in Fremantle. I got evicted! With one days notice! I left my stuff behind and hung around Perth and Kings Park. During these two days I worked closely with France exhuming French People from mass graves in kings park so they could be returned home. Around a million victims found in mass graves in Kings Park here in Perth, Western Australia, have been returned to their homeland of france. I sure got plenty of medals for my role. After two days hanging around I was despairing when somebody gave me a note with an address, phone number and the words $200 a week rent. The next day I called and started renting in North Perth. I was already mayor of Fremantle and Perth and the good folk of North Perth made me mayor of Vincent in about two weeks. I discovered a mass grave under my room, 250,000 more French, crushed by an electric steam-roller in the early 1800's. I was an expert at mass graves by then and simply teleported them to superverse city where they are getting on with their lives. Superverse city was founded in June 2014 and is now the most modern and dynamic city on Earth. Instead of driving cars they fly on flying carpets and their favorite sport is riding four metre waves on surfboards indoors. It is an indigenously produced West Australian city that I bought the equipment for. I'm so proud.
So I got evicted from Fremantle, moved to North Perth, got captured by terrorists, and moved to Bentley. I've been here a month and got about eight Bentley girls pregnant but I got attacked by an Australian poofta in my sleep and destroyed the population in the other states of Australia. Today Australia got a new constitution, the Commonwealth of Napoleon Bonaparte's Isle of Wadjuk ratified it's constitution today. The legal constitution of australia is called the Constitution of Napoleon Bonaparte's Isle of Wadjuk. It is similar to the voided Commonwealth of Australia constitution but for a name change and deletion of references to Terra Nullius or false claims of an empty land devoid of human life.
I must mention my marriage. I am married to Trudy Windsor-Harman, the successor to Queen Elizabeth 2nd. We courted for around a year and were married on September 12th 2014. Trudy is so exciting! And so loyal.
